Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Who Am I and How Did I Get Here? And More Importantly, Why are They Trusting Me with These Children?

I am losing my mind. Not in the going crazy, losing your marbles sort of way. But as in, I can't remember anything sort of way. And I am rapidly losing my recall ability. My kids tell everyone they meet that I have short-term memory loss. Let me cite a few examples to see if you agree.

A typical weekday morning will involve the minivan being driven out and back in the driveway two or three times before it actually gets out on the open road. This happens because I forget my phone, my gym bag, my grocery list, the bank deposit, or some very important thing that I have to remember to take care of that day. It has become a comedy. The garage door opens, the van backs out, the garage door closes, the van stops, the garage door opens, the van pulls back in the drive, I hop out and run back in the house, I hop back in the van, the van backs out, the garage door closes, the van stops, and the process starts again. My max is three full repetitions before we are cleared for take off. Nice. I think the day I make it to four times, I should probably just stay in the house that last time.

Another shining moment for me lives in infamy in our house. Again, getting ready for school one morning and the last thing for the boys to do is brush their teeth. So what do I say to prompt them? You'll love this one.  I say in all seriousness, "Hey guys, buckle your seat belts."  ...I'll pause here so you can take that in...Yeah, where that came from I have no idea. It took a few minutes of my kids laughter to inform me that my auto-pilot control may have a malfunction.

And lastly, I am losing my recall abilities. Thankfully, my mind has a few go-to words that it falls back on in times of stress, confusion, exhaustion, basically just about any moment of the day, when the actual word I need seems to be MIA. My family has become very good at translating and usually they know exactly what I am talking about. So, the other day we were doing a little housecleaning and picking up the clutter. I say in all seriousness again, with no hand gestures or pointing involved, "Put the thingy in the whatchamacallit next to the thingamajig, what-ever-your-name-is." Brilliantly, Son #2 put his Nintendo games in the toy cabinet next to his Nintendo DS. See, he knows my special language.

Well, I'm off for now.  I've got to go to a place and do a thing. Since I just ate, I better buckle my seat belt before I go. Wouldn't want have bad breath when I go to the place and talk to what-ever-his-name-is's teacher.


  1. Hey, remember when y'all forgot your cats at our house? LOL, Seems this memory thing has been going on awhile !!

  2. Welcome to the wonderful world of perimenopause. It is evil. And I recently read it can last for years. Don't say I didn't warn you...I'm pretty sure I said everything started to fall apart beginning at age 42. And that includes our brain.

  3. Been there, done that! I hate to tell you, but it doesn't get any better! :D


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